Three Career Lessons I Wish I'd Known Earlier
Hari says: Your boss's job isn't to protect your boundaries. Your network matters more than your CV. And your reputation doesn't just happen to you—you're creating it.
At a recent course I taught, the Q&A travelled beyond the usual stage fright and storytelling questions. Instead someone asked me what I wished I known earlier in my career. I shared some of the below - but it made me think… and share the information a bit wider.
There are many things I wish someone had pulled me aside and told me during my first decade in the workplace. Not the usual career advice about updating your LinkedIn or arriving early to meetings, but the harder truths that no one mentions in graduate schemes or performance reviews.
I've spent 24 years working—19 of those employed by other people, and the last five running my own business. Looking back, I could have saved myself years of frustration, missed opportunities, and frankly, being walked all over, if I'd understood these principles from day one.
You Set Your Own Boundaries (And Nobody Else Will)
For the longest time, I operated under a simple belief: if the company needs me to do something, I must do it. Weekend work? Of course. Staying late every night? Naturally. Missing my son’s nursery picnic because of a "urgent" project that could have waited until Monday? Well, that's just what being professional means, right?
Wrong. Spectacularly wrong.
Here's what I wish someone had told me: you set your own boundaries. Not your boss, not HR, not company policy. You.
The revelation came when I started paying attention to the senior people around me. They were crystal clear about their limits:
"Unfortunately, I won't be available until half past nine."
"I work from home on Wednesdays—what's the best way to make sure I don't miss anything important?"
"I need to leave at 5pm today for a family commitment."
They weren't being difficult. They weren't being unprofessional. They were being clear about what they needed to make their lives work, and then finding ways to make it work for the team too.
Meanwhile, I was saying yes to everything, thinking it made me indispensable. All it made me was knackered.
The uncomfortable truth: Your boss's job is to get the most work out of you for the least money possible. That's not evil—that's business. But it means their job is definitely not to protect your boundaries or advocate for your work-life balance. That's your job.
The trick isn't to become difficult or demanding. It's to be professional about your needs:
✅ "What would work best for the team if I need to work from home one day a week?"
✅ "I have a commitment every Thursday at 5pm—how can we plan around that?"
❌ "I'm leaving at 5pm every day whether you like it or not"
You have just as much right to set reasonable boundaries as the senior staff do. You just need to know how to communicate them professionally.
Your Network Is Everything (Even If You Went to State School)
For years, I thought networking was something that just happened to people who went to posh schools and had family connections. I assumed it was all golf club handshakes and old school ties—completely irrelevant to someone like me.
I was spectacularly wrong about this too.
Now that I run my own business, I can tell you with absolute certainty: your network is everything. It's how you find work you actually want to do. It's how opportunities find you before they're advertised. It's how you get recommended for brilliant projects by people who've worked with you before.
But here's the thing about networking that nobody tells you—it's not about schmoozing or collecting business cards at awful corporate events. It's about building genuine relationships with people who understand your value.
Your best advocate is rarely you.
When you say "I'm really good at that," it sounds like boasting. When someone else says "Hari's brilliant at that—you should definitely get her on this project," it sounds like fact.
This is why you need people who will fight your corner when you're not in the room. And trust me, so much happens when you're not in the room.
I've had bosses who were fantastic advocates, pushing for my promotion and singing my praises. I've also had bosses who held me back because I was a "really good assistant" and they didn't want to lose me. Your boss's primary job is to get results for the company, not necessarily to advance your career.
So how do you build this mythical network? It's actually much simpler than you think:
Make friends, not just contacts
Do favours for people without expecting immediate returns
Show genuine interest in other people's work and challenges
Be reliable and professional in your interactions
Remember that dozens of meaningful connections matter more than hundreds of superficial ones
You want to cultivate a group of people who've worked with you and would happily work with you again. People who think of you when opportunities arise. People who'll say "You know who'd be perfect for this?" when your name comes up in conversation.
State school, private school, no school—it doesn't matter. What matters is being someone others want to work with and recommend.
You Control Your Own Reputation (Whether You Realise It Or Not)
Here's the career advice nobody gives you: your reputation isn't something that happens to you. You're actively creating it every single day.
People talk about "personal brand" as if it's some mystical thing that develops organically. It doesn't. Your reputation is the direct result of the choices you make and the actions you take.
Want to be known for being reliable? Don't miss deadlines. Ever.
Want to be known for having brilliant ideas? Actually share your ideas in meetings instead of keeping them to yourself.
Want to be known as someone who delivers under pressure? Volunteer for the difficult projects when everyone else is running in the opposite direction.
This sounds obvious, but I see people constantly waiting for recognition that will never come because they've never done anything worth recognising.
I watch talented people complain that they're not known for their creative thinking whilst never contributing to brainstorming sessions. I see developers wish they had a reputation for technical leadership whilst never volunteering to mentor junior colleagues or lead difficult projects.
The harsh reality: 99.9% of people have to work hard to get where they want to be. Nobody wakes up one morning with a brilliant reputation they didn't earn.
Here's how reputation actually works:
Decide what you want to be known for. Write it down. Be specific.
Identify the actions that demonstrate that quality. If you want to be known for problem-solving, you need to solve problems visibly.
Take those actions consistently, even when it's uncomfortable. Especially when it's uncomfortable.
Do it long enough that people can't think of that skill without thinking of you.
Want to be known as a great public speaker? Get up and speak. It won't be comfortable at first, but comfort isn't the goal—competence is.
Want to be known for your strategic thinking? Start contributing strategic insights in meetings, even if your voice shakes.
You can't just declare yourself awesome and expect people to believe it. You have to earn your reputation through consistent action over time.
The Power Is Yours
These three lessons—setting boundaries, building networks, and controlling your reputation—fundamentally changed how I approached my career. They're not magic bullets, and they won't solve every workplace challenge you'll face.
But they will put you in control of your professional life in ways that most people never realise are possible.
You don't have to wait for permission to set reasonable boundaries. You don't need a privileged background to build a powerful network. And you certainly don't need to hope that someone else will notice your brilliance and promote your reputation for you.
The power to shape your career has always been in your hands. You just need to know how to use it.
Ready to take control of your career story? I help professionals build confidence, improve their presentation skills, and communicate their value effectively. If you'd like to explore 1-2-1 coaching to develop these skills, drop me a message—I'd love to help you find your voice and advance your career.
